Yesterday the birds did Triple Lindies/Today they make ugly noise.

Yesterday, the sun shone and students ripped off their coats, cut off the legs of their pants, hopped on long boards and barreled through the mall shouting about how happy they were about everything.  And, yes, it was so freaking warm and excellent.  Flowers burst their tiny heads through the dirt. Birds did stunt flying.  I could breathe.  In between classes, I wrote fifteen pages on the new book, pages that were pretty dang sharp (they’ll be revised, certainly, but they’re going to be used). I felt sharp.  Everything is going to turn out just great, I thought.

Today it is cloudy, a little misty, probably twenty degrees cooler.  There is a twisting wind that cuts everybody down to size.  I have a stuffed nose and feel like I’m breathing through my ears.  The students have wrapped themselves in parkas crusted with stale beer from some winter party yore.  They stumble up the stairs like they gained a bunch of weight. They grow very bad looking facial hair.  Their pants don’t fit at all.  And, I have a sack of intro to creative writing stories to read.  I need to fax some crap to my mortgage broker, which I cannot find in unpacked boxes.  I can’t drink enough coffee.  I am completely dehydrated.  There is no food on this planet that can make me feel good again, and yet I eat (lost brownies in the break room, a couple of bacon cheeseburgers).  Here I am, falling asleep at the wheel.  I can’t do anything.

This is my question: Do Buddhists ever feel like crap?  If they expect to suffer do they suffer like me and the students suffer?  We suffer so bad.  We smell like stale beer (I haven’t even had a beer in so long, and yet I smell like stale beer).  Am I so weak that weather can fill me with desire, a desire that transcends night, and thus faced with a new cold and a rainy day, I am left with a sense of preternatural disappointment? If I had a disciplined mind would these stupid waves have any power at all?  I should shave my head and put a buffer down so it shines.  I would like to live in a cave and wear a loin cloth.

Political causes I have supported in the past send me desperate emails today.  The world is going down the crapper, they let me know.  Music I loved yesterday is tinny and cliche. My phone rings and I don’t recognize the number.  It’s a fraudulent company suggesting I need some different insurance.  Yesterday the birds did triple lindies.  Today they’re parked in trees and they squawk while I try to get this all done.

I would like an orange baby aspirin for my clog-ged heart, please.

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1 Response to “Yesterday the birds did Triple Lindies/Today they make ugly noise.”


  1. 1 Sandy Beach April 26, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    Oh, Herbach!! It is indeed a relief to know that you are out there in Mankato, kvetching in a fetching blog voice. Lending your wisdom ways to a whole new generation of writers. I am glad no part of you has yet exploded, apart from what’s on the page.

    An aside:
    I got lost in Mankato, bc I confused it with Northfield. The colleges in those towns are in completely different sides of town. The MSU campus has grown ever so much since my last time there: (women drum circles, goddesscentric conversing, and all-around eco-friendliness.

    Also,
    Lost in LeSueur


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