Thankful to Mrs. Olds

I do not make fashionable clothing for myself… I shop the malls for fat man pants (tis the freaking season!).  I failed mightily at manufacturing a cute tortoise pillow back in seventh grade home ec.  It was so hideous, this pillow, I believe my mother threw it out.  But, I do have skills, learned from Mrs. Olds, in seventh grade home ec…  On Thursday morning, when my daughter, Mira, ran down the turkey smelling hallway of the condo, and began to freak out (chocolate pie-fueled freak-out) about the big-toe hole in her favorite sock?  I sewed the sucker with some dark blue thread and tied it all up, based entirely on my knowledge of the domestic arts gleaned through my wildly hormonal seventh grade goggles in Mrs. Olds’ home ec class.

The Hole

The Needle

The Action

Domestic Victory

And so, I am thankful this holiday season to Mrs. Olds, who really had a rough job to do (I was in love with six of my classmates and wanted to marry them and take them to an island to do something, but I wasn’t exactly sure what, although I had some ideas).  I listened in class, as best I could, because I wanted to take care of my many island wives, whom I would also lie down next to, somehow, after the sewing was done…

The hole in Mira’s sock did come back two days later.  My island wives would have been angry.  My daughter was not mad, because she was very entertained by the notion that something as ridiculous as a sock could be fixed.  It can be.  I will stitch it even tighter next round.

Thank you, Mrs. Olds.


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I am…

Geoff Herbach. I am the author of Stupid Fast and Nothing Special, among a bunch of other stuff. When I'm not writing, I teach writing at Minnesota State, Mankato.

Stupid Fast

Nothing Special

I’m With Stupid

Fat Boy (Gabe Johnson Takes Over)

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Herbach's favorite store

My Bizzle

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