Damn Egg McMuffin not as bad as death sentence

Herbach woke up early and tired and thought he’d punish all of life with the downing of a sick bit of succulence over at the local McDonald’s.  He purchased himself a #1 from the menu.  That is: Egg McMuffin, Hash Brown, Black Coffee.  He might have said, “Stat,” when he ordered it, because he’s so sick and tired of people saying stat and he was in the mood for punishment.  So, back down in the dungeon office, Egg Mac downed, suddenly wondering about the damage he had done, Herbach followed an internet link printed on the side of his McSack.  It was a direct link to McDonald’s!

“Wow, they’re on the internet?!  Hi-tech!”

But here’s the deal… Herbach found the Egg Mac, Fatash Brown Combo Meal to contain a mere 450 calories.  If the man eats a salad at lunch and a sensible dinner, he might even lose weight today, on an angry day.  Wait one dang second!  What about rebellion and self-destruction!  Rock and Roll lifestyle, etc.?!  Very disappointing, McDonald’s.

Herbach might need to buy a brick of Velveeta to get the job done.

Or, perhaps, Herbach should just do what he really wants to do: get and smoke cigarettes.

We’ll see how it goes at the gym this afternoon!

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2 Responses to “Damn Egg McMuffin not as bad as death sentence”


  1. 1 Nitesh March 14, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    Don’t worry, you still got tonnes of nitrates, animal antibiotics, growth hormones, and not to mention more than a days worth of sodium. Rock on!

  2. 2 miracletour May 20, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    I have since seen Food Inc. You are quite correct, Nitesh, and I will not go back. Thanks for caring.


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I am…

Geoff Herbach. I am the author of Stupid Fast and Nothing Special, among a bunch of other stuff. When I'm not writing, I teach writing at Minnesota State, Mankato.

Stupid Fast

Nothing Special

I’m With Stupid

Fat Boy (Gabe Johnson Takes Over)

PowderKeg Stage

Herbach's favorite store

My Bizzle

wordpress stats plugin

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