The Gym Is Closed, Perfect Opportunity To Steal My Shovel

I did not go to the gym this MLK day, because my gym is the YWCA and they take this holiday seriously, as they should.  Instead, I stayed home working on a couple of things, getting things done, crossing a thing or two off the to-do list.  At a certain point a straggly fellow in a Vikings coat knocked on the door.  He smelled of booze and cigarettes.  He was holding an ice chipper.  He and his gang of straggly friends offered to chip away my ice for $40.  I offered $20, as that was all the cash I had on hand.  We had ourselves a deal.  

You know what?  The gang did a helluva a nice job cutting away the ice.  I was glad to give them the cash!  But now I can’t find my shovel.  It has been stolen, it would seem.

 

Looking For Shovel

Looking For Shovel

That shovel was a nice shovel.  It cost me $40.  So, I paid the scraggly crowd of alcoholics $60 plus the transaction costs of having to go buy a new shovel, about $40 more, because that’s what I pay myself for breathing.  

Have I mentioned that the petty crime at my house puts me in a bad mood and makes me a little bit crazy.  I am crazy.

Tomorrow, it’s back to the gym!

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I am…

Geoff Herbach. I am the author of Stupid Fast and Nothing Special, among a bunch of other stuff. When I'm not writing, I teach writing at Minnesota State, Mankato.

Stupid Fast

Nothing Special

I’m With Stupid

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