Peas Are Delicious When Bobbing In Kraft Macaroni

The peas: Green Giant Picked at the Peak of Perfection Sweet Peas.  If you eat the entire can, as I did, you’ve eaten no fat of any kind, but you’ve had plenty of sugar and 210 calories.  If that’s all I’d eaten for dinner, I’d be okay.

But,

The macaroni: Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner “The Cheesiest” Original Flavor. If you eat the entire box, as I did, you’ve eaten 75% of your daily fat intake, 1230 calories, and 50% of your daily carbohydrate intake.

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Now, this was definitely delicious.  It was heavenly going down (except while eating bowl three I noticed the whole thing actually lacked flavor, so maybe it wasn’t delicious).  The meal is a traditional Midwestern Fat Bomb.  Exciting stuff.

(Read this fast and nervous) Except, I am dizzy from the fat.  I am sleepy even as my heart pumps too hard.  Early today I ate a double quarter pounder with cheese and french fries dipped in mayo. Tonight, I would like to eat some ice cream and maybe beer.  I’m an addict!  A junky!    This is no good for me.  I suggested that White Trash Spa Day might be a different kind of healthy.  Just kicking back and relaxing!  That’s nuts.  My arms are numb.  Oh no!

Tomorrow, This Guy is back at it! Pursuing Castaway Hanks!  Watch out!  White trash spa day be damned!

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I am…

Geoff Herbach. I am the author of Stupid Fast and Nothing Special, among a bunch of other stuff. When I'm not writing, I teach writing at Minnesota State, Mankato.

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Nothing Special

I’m With Stupid

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