Tom Hanks Could Not Order From Pizza Hut Late Night

He was stuck on an island in the Pacific.  He ate raw fish that he speared after chasing them through the shallows, lifting his knees high into the air to stop himself from tripping on water and rocks.  Every day he was challenged by nature and baked by the sun until his brown hair, dread-like,  turned blonde and he looked like a naked viking from the bible.  Tom Hanks was light and comfortable in his island sculpted body.

 

Biblical Viking Hanks

Biblical Viking Hanks

I live in a modern society.  Although there are big problems in modern society, the biggest problem might be the ease with which I can order from Pizza Hut while I’m using my computer. Last night as I was writing down some new song lyrics for a new musical project, I received an email from Pizza Hut.  Within several minutes of having received the email, I had placed my order for a new “natural” Pizza Hut pizza sporting “natural” sausage, organic red peppers, and a “multi-grain” crust. I wasn’t aware, until last night, of “naturally” occurring sausage, but have to say, I am impressed.  I am not, however, impressed with my inability to live Hanks-like in this modern world.  

 

Box Ordered Online, Arrived At Door Filled With "Natural" Pizza

Box Ordered Online, Arrived At Door Filled With "Natural" Pizza

 

Today, this last day of December, and thus last day of 2008.  Today, I will have to pay for my past indiscretions, namely eating that pizza.  Today, I will have to hit the gymnasium doubly hard.  I will have to battle various aches and pains, including what I’ve diagnosed to be turf toe.  I will have to burn an Island Hanks-load, plus an extra thousand calories stuffed in my mouth by modern society late last night.

Sad Face Of Man Who Ate "Natural" Pizza Late Night

Sad Face Of Man Who Ate "Natural" Pizza Late Night

Advertisements

0 Responses to “Tom Hanks Could Not Order From Pizza Hut Late Night”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




I am…

Geoff Herbach. I am the author of Stupid Fast and Nothing Special, among a bunch of other stuff. When I'm not writing, I teach writing at Minnesota State, Mankato.

Stupid Fast

Nothing Special

I’m With Stupid

Fat Boy (Gabe Johnson Takes Over)

PowderKeg Stage

Herbach's favorite store

My Bizzle

wordpress stats plugin

%d bloggers like this: